Matthew 18:20

 Thanks, Mark.

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Matthew 18:20
   For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. Matthew 18:20
Does this count?





It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember, if it made you smile, your friends will smile too.

May God richly bless

Calvin & Hobbes - Week of Apr 14th

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/14/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/15/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/16/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/17/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/18/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/19/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/20/

Calvin & Hobbes - Week of Apr 7th

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/07/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/08/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/09/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/10/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/11/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/12/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/04/13/

Chuckles

Thanks to Roy.
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My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.
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Marriage is a three-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
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For Sale : Wedding dress, size 8. Worn once by mistake.
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There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: Before marriage and after marriage.
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The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove Seemed way too qualified for the job . 'Look Miss,' said the foreman, 'have you any actual Experience in picking lemons? 'Well, as a matter if fact, yes!' she replied.? 'I've Been divorced three times.'
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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can Remove a curse he has be en living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me The exact words that were used to put the curse on you.' The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
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Reason Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder: All the DNA is the same.
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I was in the express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?'

Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?
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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. 'Young man, we're both 90 years old,' the husband said, 'We may not have 45 minutes.' They were seated immediately.
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The reason congressmen try so hard to get re-elected is that they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they've passed.
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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father Escorted her down the aisle . They reached the altar to the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly. As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.
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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
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Three friends from the local cong regation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?' Artie said: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a Wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'
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Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.

Looking up, he asks the Lord... 'God, what does a million years mean to you?' The Lord replies, 'A minute.' Smith asks, 'And what does a million dollars mean to you?' The Lord replies, 'A penny.' Smith asks, 'Can I have a penny?' The Lord replies, 'In a minute.'
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A man goes to a shrink and says, 'Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?' 'Relax,' says the Doctor, 'take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?'
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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. 'Give me one last request, dear,' he said. 'Of course, John,' his wife said softly. 'Six months after I die,' he said, 'I want you to marry Bob.' 'But I thought you hated Bob,' she said. With his last breath John said, 'I do!'
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A man goes to see the Rabbi. 'Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.' The Rabbi asked, 'What's wrong?' The man replied, 'My wife is poisoning me.' The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, 'How can that be?' The man then pleads, 'I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what should I do?' The Rabbi then offers, 'Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know.' A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, 'Well, I spoke to your wife. I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?' The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, 'Take the poison.'

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Funny!

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.

The Trip Home

Thanks, Randal.
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A pastor had been on a long flight between church conferences.  The first warning of the approaching problems came when the sign on the airplane flashed on:  Fasten Your Seat Belts.

Then, after a while, a calm voice said, "We shall not be serving the beverages at this time as we are expecting a little turbulence. Please be sure your seat belt is fastened."

 

As the pastor looked around the aircraft, it became obvious that many of the passengers were becoming apprehensive.

Later, the voice on the intercom said, "We are so sorry that we are unable to serve the meal at this time.  The turbulence is still ahead of us."

And then the storm broke . . .

                                                  

The ominous cracks of thunder could be heard even above the roar of the engines.  Lightning! Lit up the darkening skies, and within moments that great plane was like a cork tossed around on a celestial ocean.  One moment the airplane was lifted on terrific currents of air; the next, it dropped as if it were about to crash.

 

The pastor confessed that he shared the discomfort and fear of those around him.  He said, "As I looked around the plane, I could see that nearly all the passengers were upset and alarmed. Some were praying.  The future seemed ominous and many were wondering if they would make it through the storm.

 

"Then, I suddenly saw a little girl.  Apparently the storm meant nothing to her.  She had tucked her feet beneath her as she sat on her seat; she was reading a book and every- thing within her small world was calm and orderly.

 

"Sometimes she closed her eyes, then she would read again; then she would straighten her legs, but worry and fear were not in her world.

When the plane was being buffeted by the terrible storm when it lurched this way and that, as it rose and fell with frightening severity, when all the adults were scared half to death, that marvelous child was completely composed and unafraid."  The minister could hardly believe his eyes.

 

It was not surprising therefore, that when the plane finally reached its destination and all the passengers were hurrying to disembark, our pastor lingered to speak to the girl whom he had watched for such a long time.

Having commented about the storm and the behavior of the plane, he asked why she had not been afraid.

 

The child replied, "Cause my Daddy's the pilot, and he's taking me home."

                                 

                                                                       There are many kinds of storms that buffet us. Physical, mental, financial, domestic, and many other storms can easily and quickly darken our skies and throw our plane into apparently uncontrollable movement.  We have all known such times, and let us be honest and confess, it is much easier to be at rest when our feet are on the ground than when we are being tossed about a darkened sky.

 

Let us remember: Our Father is the Pilot.  He is in control and taking us home. Don't worry!

Great Pictures!

Thanks, Worth.
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http://paulw.gray.googlepages.com/photos-superb1.pps

Guns - Humorous, but true

Snuffy, of course.
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This is the law: The purpose of fighting is to win. There is no possible victory in defense. The sword is more important than the shield and skill is more important than either. The final weapon is the brain. All else is supplemental.

1. Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you. -- John Steinbeck

2. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.

3. I carry a gun cause a cop is too heavy.

4. When seconds count, the cops are just minutes away.

5. A reporter did a human interest piece on the Texas Rangers. The reporter recognized the Colt Model 1911 the Ranger was carrying and asked him, "Why  carry a .45?". The Ranger responded with, "Because they don't make a .46." * Credit to Retired Texas Ranger Joaquin (Waukeen) Jackson, Alpine, Texas .

6. An armed man will kill an unarmed man with monotonous regularity.

7. The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have brought my rifle."

8. Beware the man who only has one gun. HE PROBABLY KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!!!

Comments: I was once asked by a lady visiting if I had a gun in the house. To which I said I did. She said, "Well I certainly hope it isn't loaded!" To which I said, "Of course it is loaded, can't work without bullets.." She then asked, "Are you that afraid of someone evil coming into your house?" My reply was, "No not at all. I am not afraid of the house catching fire either, but I have fire extinguishers around, and THEY ARE ALL LOADED."

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The Fable of the Hot Chocolate

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired.  During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives.  Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said: "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones.  While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality of the hot chocolate.  In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and position in society are the cups.  They are just tools to hold and contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality of life  you have.  Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot chocolate God has provided us.  God makes the hot chocolate, man chooses the cups.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything.  They just make the best of everything that they have.

 

Live simply.
Love generously. 
Care deeply.
Speak kindly. 
And enjoy your hot chocolate..

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"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning how to dance in the rain." (Unknown)

Sending you some Spring!!!!

I JUST LOVE THIS!!!!  Hope you do too!!

Click on the snowman.  You will get a black page. Click your mouse

anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!

Better yet, click (hold down) & drag your mouse over the black page...

Enjoy!!