Monday, January 28, 2008

Calvin & Hobbes - Week of Jan 28th

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/28/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/29/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/02/03/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/02/02/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/02/01/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/31/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/30/

How smart is your right foot????

Thanks to John for this post.
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You will not believe this.......try it!

How smart is your right foot?

This is way too crazy and we just have to really wonder how the mind really works.

How smart is Your Right Foot?

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon........... This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction. I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so.

Send it to your buddies to frustrate them too. (I just did).

Fwd: 60 years after ww II- please forward

Please read the little cartoon carefully, it's powerful.  Then read the comments at the end, and please - forward it!  We cannot, we must not, ever forget what happened in Europe over 60 years ago, because it could happen again.  Anyone, any group, could be the target.  It has been said that those who refuse to study history are doomed to repeat it.  In this case, those who are attempting to rewrite history are probably planning to repeat it!  The hatred is already there, in place, taught to the children from infancy, with promises of glory and honor to those who carry out the plans. Forewarned is forearmed, and I'm doing my small part by forwarding this message.   I hope you'll do the same.

In Memoriam
[]
 
 
It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended..  This e-mail is being sent as a memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russia peoples looking the other way!

Paul's Phones - Home:  972.423.7949  Cell:  972.841.5755  Fax:  253.550.8342

Friday, January 25, 2008

Old Guy Golf

Thanks to Sonny and Snuffy for this post. Is that an "old guys" singing group name? :>)
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Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.

'That's it,' he tells his wife. 'I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I've hit the ball I couldn't see where it went.'

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says, Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try..'

'That's no good' sighs Arthur, 'your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help.'

'He may be a hundred and three', says the wife, 'but his eyesight is perfect'

So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law. 'Did you see the ball?'

'Of course I did!' replied the brother-in-law. 'I have perfect eyesight'.

'Where did it go?' says Arthur.

'I don't remember.'

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

The Vow of Celibacy

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script.

The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying.

"The R! They left out the R!"

"What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks.

After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"

From Comedy Central

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Drinking Politics

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached."

The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!"

"Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down."

"That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?"

"Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says.

"Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says.

So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda."

"Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Texas Humor

Very funny. Thanks, Bill K!
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This is for all you history buffs.

It was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo . He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of this fort.

William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving steadily toward them.

With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said, "Jim, are we having some landscaping done today?"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Cracked Pot

Thanks to Akhil for this post.
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An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.

At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream

'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.'

The old woman smiled and said; "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? "

'That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'

'For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house.'

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

So, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

And send this to any or all of your Cracked Pot friends. Don't forget the Cracked Pot that sent it to you.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Calvin & Hobbes - Week of Jan 7th

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/07/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/08/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/09/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/10/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/11/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/12/

http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/01/13/

Well Said, Teacher!!!

Thanks to Snuffy for this post.
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The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?" He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about teachers: "Those who can, do.. Those who can't, teach." To stress his point he said to another guest; "You're a teacher, Bonnie. Be honest. What do you make?"

Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make? (She paused for a second, then began...) "Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their parents can't make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental. You want to know what I make?" (She paused again and looked at each and every person at the table.) I make kids wonder. I make them question. I make them apologize and mean it. I make them have respect and take responsibility for their actions. I teach them to write and then I make them write. Keyboarding isn't everything. I make them read, read, read. I make them show all their work in math. They use their God given brain, not the man made calculator. I make my students from other countries learn everything they need to know about English. I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe. I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, because we live in the United States of America. Finally, I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life."

(Bonnie paused one last time and then continued.) "Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money isn't everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because they are ignorant.... You want to know what I make? I MAKE A DIFFERENCE. What do you make, Mr. CEO?" His jaw dropped and he fell silent.

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Military Heroes Honored

Thanks to Hank for this post.
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submitted by retiree Chris Flo)

Here's a 'today' Yule story that occurred 3 weeks ago ~ AND NOW, in time for the holidays, I bring you the best Christmas story you never heard.

It started last Christmas, when Bennett and Vivian Levin were overwhelmed by sadness while listening to radio reports of injured American troops. "We have to let them know we care," Vivian told Bennett. So they organized a trip to bring soldiers from Walter Reed Army Medical Center and Bethesda Naval Hospital to the annual Army-Navy football game in Philly, on Dec. 3.

The cool part is, they created their own train line to do it. Yes, there are people in this country who actually own real trains. Bennett Levin - native Philly guy, self-made millionaire and irascible former L&I commish - is one of them.

He has three luxury rail cars. Think mahogany paneling, plush seating and white-linen dining areas. He also has two locomotives, which he stores at his Juniata Park train yard. One car, the elegant Pennsylvania, carried John F. Kennedy to the Army-Navy game in 1961 and '62. Later, it carried his brother Bobby's body to D. C. for burial. "That's a lot of history for one car," says Bennett.

He and Vivian wanted to revive a tradition that endured from 1936 to 1975, during which trains carried Army-Navy spectators from around the country directly to the stadium where the annual game is played. The Levins could think of no better passengers to reinstate the ceremonial ride than the wounded men and women recovering at Walter Reed in D. C. and Bethesda, in Maryland. "We wanted to give them a first-class experience," says Bennett. "Gourmet meals on board, private transportation from the train to the stadium, perfect seats - real hero treatment."

Through the Army War College Foundation, of which he is a trustee, Bennett met with Walter Reed's commanding general, who loved the idea. But Bennett had some ground rules first, all designed to keep the focus on the troops alone:

No press on the trip, lest the soldiers' day of pampering devolve into a media circus.

No politicians either, because, says Bennett, "I didn't want some idiot making this trip into a campaign photo op."

And no Pentagon suits on board, otherwise the soldiers would be too busy saluting superiors to relax.

The general agreed to the conditions, and Bennett realized he had a problem on his hands. "I had to actually make this thing happen," he laughs.

Over the next months, he recruited owners of 15 other sumptuous rail cars from around the country - these people tend to know each other - into lending their vehicles for the day. The name of their temporary train? The Liberty Limited.

Amtrak volunteered to transport the cars to D. C. - where they'd be coupled together for the round-trip ride to Philly - then back to their owners later.

Conrail offered to service the Liberty while it was in Philly. And SEPTA drivers would bus the disabled soldiers 200 yards from the train to Lincoln Financial Field, for the game.

A benefactor from the War College ponied up 100 seats to the game - on the 50-yard line - and lunch in a hospitality suite.

And corporate donors filled, for free and without asking for publicity, goodie bags for attendees:

From Woolrich, stadium blankets. From Wal-Mart, digital cameras. From Nikon, field glasses. From GEAR, down jackets.

There was booty not just for the soldiers, but for their guests, too, since each was allowed to bring a friend or family member.

The Marines, though, declined the offer. "They voted not to take guests with them, so they could take more Marines," says Levin, choking up at the memory.

Bennett's an emotional guy, so he was worried about how he'd react to meeting the 88 troops and guests at D. C.'s Union Station, where the trip originated. Some GIs were missing limbs. Others were wheelchair-bound or accompanied by medical personnel for the day. "They made it easy to be with them," he says. "They were all smiles on the ride to Philly. Not an ounce of self-pity from any of them. They're so full of life and determination."

At the stadium, the troops reveled in the game, recalls Bennett. Not even Army's lopsided loss to Navy could deflate the group's rollicking mood.

Afterward, it was back to the train and yet another gourmet meal - heroes get hungry, says Levin - before returning to Walter Reed and Bethesda. "The day was spectacular," says Levin. "It was all about these kids. It was awesome to be part of it."

The most poignant moment for the Levins was when 11 Marines hugged them goodbye, then sang them the Marine Hymn on the platform at Union Station.

"One of the guys was blind, but he said, 'I can't see you, but man, you must be beautiful!' " says Bennett. "I got a lump so big in my throat, I couldn't even answer him."

It's been three weeks, but the Levins and their guests are still feeling the day's love. "My Christmas came early," says Levin, who is Jewish and who loves the Christmas season. "I can't describe the feeling in the air." Maybe it was hope.

As one guest wrote in a thank-you note to Bennett and Vivian, "The fond memories generated last Saturday will sustain us all - whatever the future may bring."

God bless the Levins.

And bless the troops, every one.

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Tale of Two Brains - Must See!

Excellent depiction of the difference between men and women!

http://marriageresourcecenter.org/videogallery/4/med/VideoWidget8.htm

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Fox News Off the Air

In the spirit of the reigning pundits who comment on the Presidential primaries, Fox News has dropped out of the TV business since they finished a distant third in the ratings of the coverage of the Iowa caucuses.

:>>>)

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Nicest Prayer I Have Heard In A Long Time...

Thanks to the Snipes for this post.
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Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares .

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together .

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but His retirement plan is out of this world!

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The Half Wit - Farm Humor

A man owned a small farm in Iowa. The Iowa State Wage & Hourly Department
claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the
agent.

" Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3
years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about
90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own
room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He
also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit," says the agent.

"That would be me," replied the farmer.

Football Fans Only - Longhorns Coaching

"What do Billy Graham and the Longhorns' offensive coach, Greg Davis, have in common?

They can both make a stadium full of people shout, 'Jesus Christ!'"

Danny Gillespie, repeated by Evan Smith in the January 2008 edition of Texas Monthly.