The $2 Bill (True Story)

Thanks to Bill for this post.
--------------------------------
THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND:
>
>IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!
>
>Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I am STILL laughing!! I
>think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in
>public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist.
>
>STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
>bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.
>
>I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not
>have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to
>break a $50 bill.
>
>Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."
>Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?" Me: "No, it's to go." At this
>point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it
>kind of funny. Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."
>
>He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The
>following conversation occurs between the two of them:
>
>Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?" Manager: "No. A what?"
>Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me." Manager: "Ask
>for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."
>Server: "Yeah, thought so." He comes back to me and says, "We don't
>take these. Do you have anything else?" Me: "Just this fifty. You
>don't take $2 bills? Why?" Server: "I don't know." Me: "See here
>where it says legal tender?" Server: "Yeah." Me: "So, why won't
>you take it?" Server: "Well, hang on a sec."
>
>He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a
>shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."
>
>Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?" Server: "Yeah, a fifty.
>I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change. Manager: "I'm
>not opening the safe with him in here." Server: "What should I do?"
>Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
>Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him." Manager: "Just tell
>him." Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.
>
>The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't take
>big bills this time of night."
>
>Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."
>Manager: "We don't take those, either." Me: "Why not?" Manager: "I
>think you know why." Me: "No really, tell me why."
>Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security." Me: "Excuse
>me?" Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
>Me: "What on earth for?" Manager: "Please, sir." Me: "Uh, go
>ahead, call them." Manager: "Would you please just leave?"
>Me: "No." Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then." Me: "Hey,
>that's Burger King, isn't it?"
>
>At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on
>the phone around the corner.
>
>I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin
>laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this
>45-year-oldish guy Comes in.
>
>Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?" Manager (whispering): "This guy is
>trying to give me some
>(pause) funny money." Guard: "No kidding! What?" Manager: "Get
>this. A two dollar bill." Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake
>a two dollar bill?" Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He
>says the only other thing he has is a fifty." Guard: "Oh, so the
>fifty's fake!" Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is." Guard: "Why
>would he fake a two dollar bill?" Manager: "I don't know! Can you
>talk to him, and get him out of here?" Guard: "Yeah."
>
>Security Guard walks over to me and......
>
>Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying
>to use." Me: "Uh, no." Guard: "Lemme see 'em." Me: "Why?"
>Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"
>
>At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat,
>so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this
>two dollar bill.
>
>I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm taking a
>swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his
>hands, and he says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
>
>Manager: "It's fake." Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."
>Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill." Guard: "Yeah? "
>Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"
>
>The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it
>dawns on the guy that he has no clue.
>
>So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small
>drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get
>a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I
>try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could
>probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.
>
>Just think...those two will be voting
>soon............................YIKES!!!
>
>This email was cleaned by emailStripper, available for free from
>http://www.papercut.biz/emailStripper.htm