------------------------
- Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following:
- 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
- 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
- 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.
- 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- 5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
- 6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
- 7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
- 8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
- 9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- 10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
- 11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.
- 12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
- When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
- ABOUT GROWING OLDER...
- First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
- Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
- Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
- Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
- Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
- Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
- Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Tenth ~ Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.
- And finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
- Good Advice
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
No comments:
Post a Comment